Hey friend, 

Recently I sat wondering about the Parent -Child relationship in respect to temperaments and dispositions. 

I discovered that as unique as each child in a home is, he or she takes on a similar temperament or disposition to one or even both parents.

 In the same vein, the parent whom this child emulates in certain mannerisms and the child in question, sometimes, do not seem to get along. As it was in my case while growing up!

My Father has always been strict, no-nonsense, and principled. We occasionally got along, but this did not mean we did not butt heads too, occasionally.

My thoughts on the topic led me to the Fruit of the Spirit, which is one of the evidences that the Holy Spirit is working in the life of a Christian.

I wondered if the presence of the fruit of the Holy Spirit in a parent’s life, was purely emulated by a child or whether it was passed on through genes. (i.e) Will a child develop self-control because the parent has and displays self-control?

If a mother is gentle and her son seems to be gentle, did she pass on her gentleness genetically, or has her son observed her and unconsciously taken after her?

You might argue that a kind person does not necessarily have to have the Holy Spirit. In this instance, is this part of nature or a learned behaviour/attitude?

Whatever your views are, one thing I do know is that parents are the first teachers of their children.  Our worldview displayed at home becomes theirs, their first attempt at comprehending the world occurs within the confines of the home environment and our relationship with them. Whether it comes to you naturally or not, you automatically took on the role of coach, model, and tutor when you became a mummy or daddy! 

The fear for some parents is having to discover certain areas of their disposition or temperament, that they cringe at during self- appraisals, and worry that one or more of their children is beginning to display this same trait. 

However, how do you react in response to this behaviour when identified in your child. This is the key to either helping your child ‘unlearn’ this trait you would rather not have. 

Would you get angry and apply sternness to quickly eradicating this behaviour?
Would you be humble enough to realise that you contributed to the development of the behaviour one way or the other and help your child learn something new and healthy by changing your ways and laying the right examples?

I find that when I notice certain bursts of impatience in my child, I have sometimes reacted with the same impatience in my bid to help her do the opposite. It always backfires. Trust me! 

In times when I have calmed down and slowed my speech down, I have been able to get through to her. In the end we both learn a better way of dealing with such situations. Where do your traits, tendencies and attitudes end up?

Even the ‘not so nice ones.’


How does a parent even begin to peel these things back?🤔😭

How does a parent even begin to re-write the stories?😭

How does a parent deal with the guilt that may come from seeing the impact of unhelpful traits in their children? 😫

This is a not so discussed subject in Christian Parenting.

But we are about to change that by going deep into this topic to examine and tackle this through the ‘RE-PROGRAM YOUR HOME COURSE..’

This course is for you, if you are an intentional parent-leader.

It is for you if you are:

✅the parent who wants create a different playbook for their children.

✅the parent who wants raise unbroken children.

✅the Christian parent who wants to excel at parenting in the 21st century.

✅the parent who wants to be the transitional generation and decide that traits, patterns and unhealthy tendencies do not go past their generation to find their children.

✅the parent who wants to save their children’s future from the impacts of their own negative pasts, experiences and events.

This course is for YOU!

How about ending 2020 on such a high note, ready for 2021 with:

A new mindset, New habits, A new family culture, New awareness, New outlook on life and a deep work of transformation. The most important bit is the fact that you are creating the right environment with the right programs for your child’s foundation to be firmly built on….

Re-program Your Home is not for the terrible parent. It is for the imperfect but forward-looking parent. 

Dare I say that it is for you.

Sign up for Re-Program Your Home

Course Begins on Monday September 28, 2020. 

I cannot wait to see you inside the course.



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Joy is a Parenting Leadership Coach. She is a mother to three children.  She runs arrowsnarchers.com, a community where she helps Christian parents develop key leadership capabilities as well as clear paths to all-around excellence for their children through intentional, transformational Parenting.

She enjoys teaching and mentoring, writing, singing, research, and travelling.

Joy is also an author. Copies of her book " DISCOVER TO GROW"can found here

Connect with her on Facebook.

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