It’s a been a minute since I last wrote to you. But I’m glad I am able to do that now. I hope you have been well.

I thought to share what I have written below with you. I hope you enjoy it.

Fruits are always evident in the lives of people.  Therefore, whatever seed we sow as parents will be more evident and publicly displayed in the lives of our children.

So, I have been toying with the idea of a contrast between raising/rearing and training children. I have also been wondering if Parents think a melange of the two is possible.

Let me ask you. Do you think these words mean the same in the world of Parenting? 

What do these words mean?

Raising/rearing a Child is : to bring up a Child.

Training is simply put as:  the process of learning needed skills.

Training and management development in organisations come to my mind mostly because that is part of my professional background. Basically, the aim of these two activities within organisations is mainly to develop staff to understand the businesses, catch the vision, run with it, spread the positives of the company culture and grow talent with the ability to sit over managerial positions in the organisation who can keep the company alive and make profit.

So how am I connecting this to our different parenting journeys?

Making babies and growing them in the womb is the shortest process we go through on this journey. When our bundles of joy arrive, we transition to raising them. By this I mean, feeding them, clothing them, being available for them, protecting them, caring for them, supporting their development (e.g. creating environments for them to hit their developmental milestones) Raising/Rearing takes a lot of commitment but I believe it is underpinned by love and the bond we share in our parent-child relationship.

However, remaining only at this stage does not help us achieve the purpose of parenting.

One of God’s main purposes for the union between a husband and wife is for the procreation of Godly seed. (Malachi 2:15).

Genesis 18:19 also gives insight into God’s intent on Parenting- I have chosen him so that he will direct his children and his family after him to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just. In this way I, the Lord, will do what I have promised Abraham.”

As a result, doesn’t this imply that God is hot on more than raising children for physical growth, development and protection? You and I are parents so that we can pass on our knowledge and experiences of God to our Children not merely for the sake of knowing but for relationship and teaching them how our lives cannot exist without him among other things.

This brings me to Training. You see, Training is not done without an aim. There is always an end goal. Whilst, raising a child might be driven by love and the bond we share, Training a Child is driven by your desire to see your child succeed and is supported by commitment which I think are deeper expressions of love.

Proper training bears lasting fruits in our children. Fruits that have the capacity to remain even when tested by life and situations.

Apart from making sure we are bringing up Godly Children, it is so important to remember we are bringing up children who will NOT remain children. As much as we love and want to cuddle them for a long time,  they are headed for a destiny and the society. The right training can sustain them in these places. Training a Child is the next step up from rearing a child.

Our much-loved bible verse on parenting says ‘’Train up a child in the way he should go, when he is old he will not depart from it “(Proverbs 22:6) The right or wrong training contribute to who our children eventually become and as I like to say:

“Do not set your parenting journey on autopilot, take the reins but let God hold your hands”.

Frankly, training a child demands more of you as a parent than mere providing, protecting and supporting. Many times, you will have to repeat things by words and actions so that your children get it. Right now, I remember my mother’s words when she had to repeat one thing or the other. With her words in Yoruba, she compared teaching us the same thing over and over again to the hard work of building a strong house.  This process will not necessarily be a smooth sail or an enjoyable one but it will deliver fantastic results if we stick to it.

No one teaches a new-born baby where his food should go, you only need to move anything close to its mouth. Try teaching and training a child to share, have good manners or how to build tenacity -different story because these things do not come to children naturally.

Therefore, we must not leave anything to chance.

Zig Ziglar says “Repetition is the mother of learning, the father of action, which makes it the architect of accomplishment.”

Training a child will also require discipline to commit to the process from you and your child.

I have also discovered that society, people and your child(yep!) will blame for not providing, protecting and supporting your child. This is because the above are basic needs of children. On the other hand, people hardly care or remember if you do an excellent job of training a child to develop solid character, good work ethics and manners, and behaviours that are beneficial for the society and useful to help him or her lead a successful life. Do not expect to get pats on your back. Your reward will be in the fruits that your work produces even when no one sees the frustrations or hears your cries for more grace and patience.

So, my dear parent, keep teaching, speaking, building, repeating, applying patience, sowing and growing those seeds and by the help and never-failing support of God everything will come together nicely.  The seed you sow now might not have any apparent signs of budding fruits because the fruits were not meant to be displayed in your home but outside in the world.

I would love to read your comments.

Much Love,





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Joy is a Parenting Leadership Coach. She is a mother to three children.  She runs, a community where she helps Christian parents develop key leadership capabilities as well as clear paths to all-around excellence for their children through intentional, transformational Parenting.

She enjoys teaching and mentoring, writing, singing, research, and travelling.

Joy is also an author. Copies of her book " DISCOVER TO GROW"can found here

Connect with her on Facebook.

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