“Mummy, I don’t have shoes to wear to church”.

“That is impossible, we bought a few pairs only last year. Go and check again. There must be one you can wear”.

A few minutes later…….

“I have checked mummy, my toes are squashed in this one, I can’t even get my heels into that one”.

Almost every time my children go through a growth spurt, It seems I am the last one to get the memo.

I keep thinking they don’t not need clothes or shoes for the next six months, we just shopped for them. So, I move on. Please don’t get me wrong, I am have my eyes on what they wear and if it fits and trust me I never buy their exact size.  It is usually one or two sizes up. Can I have a witness?

I am talking about when this growth spurt seems to happen more often than I had planned. Sometimes they grow so quickly and you have to catch up.

Very recently, it was time to buy new shoes and what I am going to share with you today came to my mind.

Every time your child grows, something changes in you. You grow too!

Your child’s growth is not only physical. They grow mentally and hit or exceed developmental milestones.

Every level of growth and development your child goes through impacts on your own development as a parent. It disrupts your current state of mind and the way you see your child in that moment.

We must shift our thinking to match their level of development and cease to see them as they were they last time we checked. When we stretch and grow alongside our children, we come out of certain moulds we carved out for ourselves based on their last stage of development.

 An eighteen-month-old does not necessarily want to be fed all time. He is beginning to learn independence and wants to test his ability by trying to feed himself. Never mind the mess, it’s all part of the development.

Fitness experts tell us that stretching after exercise adds significant value to the flexibility of the body. So, does stretching as parent.

It reduces the needless tension we build up. Especially if we are talking about children’s mental development and their transition from one phase to another.

For example, little girl to teenager or from a toddler to a ‘pre-schooler’ 

Being flexible will help us adapt to the challenges that emanate from their transitioning as well as the changes they go through whilst they transition.

 Stretching is necessary through every stage of parenting, even grand-parenting. Your children will continuously develop.  But presence of mind and flexibility on your part will make the process less arduous.

Find out if you are growing too. This year make a note of the areas where you need to grow and stretch.

For mental/intellectual development, I am listening for questions that have not come up before, I am keenly watching out for acts of independence that tell me there is a shift going on in my children’s mind.

I am happy to write you again.

On another note, we are preparing for the next Arrowsnarchers Summit. This year we are looking at our strengths. In particular, the strengths we need in our archer muscles to be able to shoot our arrows in the right direction. Picture an archer with weak arms. How does this Archer shoot his arrows?

 The distance the arrow can cover is largely dependent on the strength of the archer’s arm to launch it.

As Christian parents some of these strengths include:



Finances/Wealth building

The Word of God



These are the areas we are auditing this year.

How strong is your muscle in any of these areas? Do you need to build that muscle?

Join us for the aNa Summit 2020. There are not many events like this around.  

I look forward to welcoming you.

Get your tickets here

Much Love


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Joy is a Parenting Leadership Coach. She is a mother to three children.  She runs, a community where she helps Christian parents develop key leadership capabilities as well as clear paths to all-around excellence for their children through intentional, transformational Parenting.

She enjoys teaching and mentoring, writing, singing, research, and travelling.

Joy is also an author. Copies of her book " DISCOVER TO GROW"can found here

Connect with her on Facebook.

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