When an archer plans to shoot an arrow, he looks into his quiver and searches for one that he thinks would hit the target he is aiming for. While he is at it, he is looking for a lighter, slimmer arrow that can gain speed quickly. He would neglect the short and heavier arrows because he does not think that they have the potential to go very far.

As archers(parents) sometimes we find ourselves doing the same thing with our arrows( children). We size them up before we make plans to shoot them. We sometimes cannot see beyond the now and what the child is still working at. We exhibit this in different ways. 


Sometimes as parents we look at our children and think ”My son/daughter cannot do that. It’s too much for him or her.


Who told you that  learning numbers 1-20 is too much for a two-year-old? Have you tried teaching it? Or do you just think so because you have heard that he should only be able to cope with learning numbers  one and ten? Please do not misunderstand me.  There are developmental milestones for every child. But there will always be the child who exceeds them or goes a little bit further. However, you will never know that child’s ability if you don’t give some things a try.

Instead of taking a child’s reluctance for not wanting to try something the first time, give it some time and try again. We get better at doing things by doing them repeatedly.

Many times as parents we hold our children back from doing certain things because of the fear that we have about such things. If you search deeply you’ll find one thing or activity  that you probably don’t have the guts to do that your child might have the confidence and strength of mind to do.

Some parents also compare their children based on their abilities. Every child is different. Not all girls like ballet or ‘girly things’. If you have a girl like I was you would have a girl that probably enjoys climbing trees or doing flips with boys. It can very detrimental to a child’s self-confidence for a long time to compare our children and say to them

Why are you not like me or why can’t you be like your sister or brother or another child in another family’.

I guess what I am really trying to say is do not size up your arrows before you shoot them. That arrow might not look like it has potential in your hands but you will never know until you let it go. You never know how far it can go if you don’t try.

As the archer, you can make your arrow ready to hit a target. It is your responsibility to prepare it. Chisel it, give it height, sharpen it . Make it malleable and make it ready to cope with  the things it will come across along the way to its target. The wind is strong enough to sway an arrow on its way to its destination. But you must prepare it to use the wind to its advantage.

We must prepare our children, equip them and train them for the world they are growing up in. The competition our children face now is stiffer than it has ever been on very many levels.

Therefore, we must prepare them and not rub them of learning by doing everything for them, comparing them, or being myopic about their abilities. When you have done your bit by preparing them, learn to trust.  Trust God first, trust the child and trust that you have done a good job and then release your arrow. But as a parent,  you must be able to say you did well with your responsibilities.

Remember you never know how far your arrow will go if you don’t give it a shot.

I would love to read your comments.

Many Blessings



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Joy is a Parenting Leadership Coach. She is a mother to three children.  She runs arrowsnarchers.com, a community where she helps Christian parents develop key leadership capabilities as well as clear paths to all-around excellence for their children through intentional, transformational Parenting.

She enjoys teaching and mentoring, writing, singing, research, and travelling.

Joy is also an author. Copies of her book " DISCOVER TO GROW"can found here

Connect with her on Facebook.

This post has 16 Comments

    1. Hhmm! I agree Detola. Thank you for sharing.
      I think I relaxed a little bit more with my one 2.5 year old. I think it is because I sometimes feel it is a lot of work. But there is grace.

  1. Thank you for sharing this Joy!. It really does help to put things in perspective and not to limit our little ones – they do have greatness within them!.

  2. This is such a great write up! Growing up, my parents always compared me to my siblings and that definitely affected me in so many ways. It wasn’t intentional but I guess that was their way of trying to get me to ‘match up’ with the rest. The grace of God has enabled me to move on from that negativity and as a parent, I am very conscious of how i speak and even perceive my kids.

    Thank you for sharing

    1. Hi Fola,
      Thank you for comment. Being compared was something I got a lot. It was really difficult. It was also become part of me to feel ‘not as good as’ others because of this. You are absolutely right about what Grace does. I am also really conscious about how I compare my daughters. Thanks for sharing.

  3. I enjoyed reading this Joy. it pointed out to me how I have been slacking in some ways as a mother…I pray God give me the wisdom and strength on how to prepare my arrows!

    Thanks for sharing these amazing pieces of knowledge.

    1. Amen Tolu.
      That’s a big prayer. That whole David story of being anointed is very special to me. Expounding on that is for another day. hehe!!


  4. Absolutely, agree on so many levels most especially about not sizing up our arrows before we shoot them. Thanks for highlighting some areas of development for me as well. Enjoyed the read.

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